Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Who gets invited to the Wedding

The guest list, next to budget, is probably the hardest thing about your Wedding.  Everyone is so happy for your and  you are so happy, and you just want to invite everyone.  Love is in the air.  Budgets are not about love, they are such an ugly word.  The fact is that the guest list is a huge factor in your budget.  The bottom line is that guest cost money.  Initiations, postage, food, booze, favors, they all add up per guest.

How do you put together a list?

Bridal Party

Please do not forget that at the end of the day they are guests, with a per plate catering charge, and a bar bill.  All members of the bridal party should be allowed a plus one and and their children (if you are having children) should also be invited.


Get both sets parents involved, especially if they are helping pay the bill.  Ask they to give you a list with addresses, having them handle the immediate family will free you to work on the rest of the list.


This is the hard part of the list.  Where do you draw the line.  I do not like grouping friends into buckets, but it might make it easier.  Are they 5-minute friends, meaning these are relatively new friends, 5-year friends, meaning that you have known them for awhile, but your relationship might by still be pretty casual.  Then there are the forever friends, the ones that make you the happiest, and you couldn't imagine not sharing this day with them.  Remember, you might have only known someone 5 years and they are a forever friend, it's the feeling not the timeline.

All single friends, should be allowed a plus one, and married friends invites should include their children.


You do not have to invite your boss.  You do not have to invite your cube mate.  You do not have to invite your biggest client.  You do not have to invite the co-worker that put together your work bridal shower.  You do not have to invite any of your co-workers.  They will understand.  They get that you are typically friends because you are in the same building 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.  Show them pictures.  They will still be overjoyed for you.

They look like they are ready for a Wedding.


Do people really have b-lists?

They do, alternate backups once you find out that your cousin from Seattle cannot come, it opens up a spot for one of the 5-minute friends.  This is not a fun list to be on, and know that they know they are b-list and may not show.

Does everyone get a save the date?

Not necessarily.  You certainly can, but those are mostly for out of town guests.  Check out everything else you need to know about them in my last post.

Do I have to invite someone because I was invited to their wedding?

Urgghh.. I would say if it has been with the last 6 months, yes.  Longer than that it not necessary, but if you have room for them and they will know others there, then invite them.

I know it's hard but in the end, everyone will just be happy for you, and any hard feelings will drift away as time passes.

Happy Planning


Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Your First Holiday Post Engagement...Questions, Questions, Questions...

Aren't the holidays great.  They are filled with old friends and family, just spending time together catching up.  This time of year is especially exciting for the newly engaged.  It is a time to spread the word, and answer questions.  So many questions.

How did it happen?

Where did it happen?

Let me see the ring!?!

When is the BIG day?

Will it be a big wedding?

Answer the questions, tell them over and over about the engagement, show them the video if there is one.  Enjoy it.  Be honest about your wedding plans, if you don't have any, tell them that you are just getting started with the planning and haven't ironed out all the details.  If you are having a small wedding and some of them will not be invited, this is a great time to set the expectation, that the guest list might be small.

I would suggest if you are not inviting extended family or old friends that you will run into over the holidays to not send out your Save the Dates cards out until after the first of the year.

Get ready.  After the questions comes the advice.  Those of who are married loved to talk to engaged couples and tell them all about our fabulous weddings.  Today I was thinking about that and I think the reason why is that we like to relive the wonderful time in our lives where we had no idea what we were doing, and we didn't care we just wanted to have a perfect day.

Listen politely to the advice and laugh 90% of it off it, but maybe there is some gold in 10% of it.

This is also a no pressure time to take to that 2nd cousin, who is also a photographer about them have any interest in helping a cousin out.

Listen to people's plans, I'm not one for pushing your wedding day because your Aunt and Uncle are going to Hawaii but if it's important for you to have them there, take note of the dates.  Also, make sure that you take note of anyone that might have moved, and make sure to get their updated information.

Do not commit to anything.  Sure it sounds like a good idea to plan a bridal show and night out with your cousins in June, but do not commit to a date, it's easy to say "I'll text closer to the the day so we can make plans" - same goes for Grandma's wedding dress.

Also, one last thing, get your nails done so that show off that beautiful ring!

Happy Thanksgiving!


Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Kids and Weddings

Just for the record, I am totally pro kids at weddings.  That being said I can understand why someone would choose not to invite children to their weddings.

Kids are fun to have a weddings because they are adorable all dressed up and they run around and entertain everyone.  They are not so fun when they are screaming and crying during the vows, or destroying decorations it took you 3 months to make.

The real problem with kids are that they get bored, and tired and that's when they start to fall apart.  Keeping them entertained is the key to having a successful wedding with kids.

The Guest List

If you have lot of guests traveling to the wedding, you may what to consider inviting kids.  Many guests may not want to leave their kids for an entire weekend (many may jump at the chance!)  It may also cause hurt feelings if the couples nieces and nephews are attending and they were not allowed to bring their own children.

The Ceremony

I am all for having a babysitter at the church for the ceremony.  Alot of times, if it is a church you attend regularly, you could probably ask one of the regular nursery monitors to watch kids during the ceremony, please pay them.  If they are unavailable, ask one of your friends that has children to recommend a sitter (or sitters) that they trust to monitor the children, so their parents can enjoy the ceremony.  If you are not having ceremony in church, ask you venue contact if they have a room that could be set for the children, fill it with coloring books, crayons, and maybe a portable DVD player.

Children in the Wedding

Oh, the little scene stealers.  These are your flower girls, your ringbearers.  They are often super cute and you love them a ton.  That being said, you don't need them standing between you and your soon to be spouse while you say your vows.  I always suggest that flower girls and ring bearers walk down the aisle and then move to sit with their parents (if one of them is not in the wedding), Grandparents, or a designated friend that could remove these cutie pies at the first sign of restlessness.

The Reception

Children should sit with their parents.  If both parents are sitting at the Bridal party table, they should sit with the Grandparents or the family friend that is 'in charge' of the child.  If you have the room, and an extra table, I would suggest creating a craft table for the kids, someplace where they can color or make a picture, maybe a card for the bride and groom.  I would position it near the photo booth, and you never know maybe the adults might get alittle crafty!

Happy Planning