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Reader Mail Bag: Do-Over Weddings

I'm always amazed when I'm asked my opnion on something.  I mean, I love to give my opnion, but's usually to people who don't care.  So I was surprised, and flattered, when I received this email the other day.

Dear Cyn:

I'm wondering what your thoughts are on an invitation I received in the mail the other day.  It was invitation to a bridal shower for a second cousin of mine, who I haven't seen in years and would not recognize if I ran into her on the street, who is already married.  The invitation contained a picture of her and her husband on their wedding day.  After a call to my Mother, we concluded that they this was a 'do-over' wedding.  She and her husband had a actually gotten married a couple of years ago while they were stationed overseas while he was military.  Here is my question, how should we respond?  I have no intention of attending either the shower or the wedding.

Can't wait to hear what you think of this.


Dear Darlene:

This is the 3rd or 4th wedding like this I have heard about over the last couple of months.  Is the economy that bad that people are getting remarried? 

In my humble opinion is that you get one chance, let me clarify that, one chance per couple.  If you decide to run off to Vegas or City Hall (or on base overseas) that is your one chance.  The best part of a wedding is being there when a couple starts the lifelong journey of marriage, part of that is watching the joy (and nervousness) as they take those vows for the first time.

If having the showers, parties, and the big wedding are important to you, you need to have that wedding first.  I have a strong desire to be married by an Elvis in Vegas, but Hubby and I wanted to have a big wedding and be surrounded by family and friends when we took that step.  So Vegas was put on hold, and we started planning.

Since you are not planning on attending the shower or the wedding, your responsibility is simply to RSVP your regrets to the planner of the shower, and return your RSVP card for the wedding.  If you want to go one step further, you can send the happy couple a card with a note wishing them continued success.


While that was easier than I thought. 


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