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Who gets invited to the Wedding

The guest list, next to budget, is probably the hardest thing about your Wedding.  Everyone is so happy for your and  you are so happy, and you just want to invite everyone.  Love is in the air.  Budgets are not about love, they are such an ugly word.  The fact is that the guest list is a huge factor in your budget.  The bottom line is that guest cost money.  Initiations, postage, food, booze, favors, they all add up per guest.

How do you put together a list?

Bridal Party

Please do not forget that at the end of the day they are guests, with a per plate catering charge, and a bar bill.  All members of the bridal party should be allowed a plus one and and their children (if you are having children) should also be invited.


Get both sets parents involved, especially if they are helping pay the bill.  Ask they to give you a list with addresses, having them handle the immediate family will free you to work on the rest of the list.


This is the hard part of the list.  Where do you draw the line.  I do not like grouping friends into buckets, but it might make it easier.  Are they 5-minute friends, meaning these are relatively new friends, 5-year friends, meaning that you have known them for awhile, but your relationship might by still be pretty casual.  Then there are the forever friends, the ones that make you the happiest, and you couldn't imagine not sharing this day with them.  Remember, you might have only known someone 5 years and they are a forever friend, it's the feeling not the timeline.

All single friends, should be allowed a plus one, and married friends invites should include their children.


You do not have to invite your boss.  You do not have to invite your cube mate.  You do not have to invite your biggest client.  You do not have to invite the co-worker that put together your work bridal shower.  You do not have to invite any of your co-workers.  They will understand.  They get that you are typically friends because you are in the same building 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.  Show them pictures.  They will still be overjoyed for you.

They look like they are ready for a Wedding.


Do people really have b-lists?

They do, alternate backups once you find out that your cousin from Seattle cannot come, it opens up a spot for one of the 5-minute friends.  This is not a fun list to be on, and know that they know they are b-list and may not show.

Does everyone get a save the date?

Not necessarily.  You certainly can, but those are mostly for out of town guests.  Check out everything else you need to know about them in my last post.

Do I have to invite someone because I was invited to their wedding?

Urgghh.. I would say if it has been with the last 6 months, yes.  Longer than that it not necessary, but if you have room for them and they will know others there, then invite them.

I know it's hard but in the end, everyone will just be happy for you, and any hard feelings will drift away as time passes.

Happy Planning



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